Updated: Nov 16, 2021
I remember my first few months as a kindergarten teacher. I had studied 3 years, read book upon book to understand the child and the science of teaching, development, physical development, and so on and so forth. However; I felt like there was a missing piece. Like there was a brick of knowledge that wasn't a part of the curriculum. I wasn't prepared for the amount of impressions, triggers and challenges that awaited me.
Nothing prepared me for the amount of emotional skills and tools needed in order to truly be present with the children. And I don't mean presence as in simply being physically in the room. I mean genuinely and authentically being able to see, meet, hear and response to the child.
I started to question why no one talked about the fact that my baggage, my belief system and conditioning would so heavily influence and affect the way I choose to show up as a teacher. Or, what it felt like at the time; how it chose me. Meaning; before becoming aware and awakened to my reactions and choices, it felt like my inner default setting was choosing and running me instead of the other way around.
When I started going deeper into inner work, and also implementing meditation, I observed my experiences with the children shift. I could observe before reacting. Breath before responding. Work on the parts of me who were intensely challenged by certain situations. And my connection with the children grew deeper and safer.
That lead me to think; why did I not learn about this in school? Why didn't we get taught how our ego starts to run the show, how we project unto the children, and therefor are unable to see them clearly? The same thing was showing up when I was running through my mind when I was in the daily dialogue with the parents. When questions and issues arose with their children, they often wanted to find fault in the child. Not out of bad intentions, obviously. But due to a missing insight into how their own inner world was affecting both their interaction and connection (or lack thereof) with their child, and the child's behaviour.
That lead me into curiosity about what can change when we shift focus; from obsessing about the behaviour of the child, to the parent/teacher/caretaker. Who are we? What is our story? What is our unmet needs? And why and how does this directly influence our relationship with the child? How does it directly affect the child?
This is why I have chosen to work with growing consciousness and awareness in parents, teachers and caretakers. Raising consciousness in adults helps us raise children in a new way. It also has the potential to open up a life lived with more purpose, fulfilment, peace, joy and abundance. For ourselves, for our families, for our children.